Fan: Audrey
Date of meeting: Jan. 18/19, 2003
Place:Los Angeles, Ca
Event:"Collectors and Celebrities" show


(these awesome pics were taken by Abandonada. Thanks!)

       I dragged myself out of bed at seven in the morning after only a few hours of sleep, my mind too preoccupied the wee hours before with excitement and anxiety. My friend Abandonada was kind enough to somehow be awake hours earlier and transport herself to my house at seven-thirty am where we commenced forth, through the exciting commute of Los Angeles highways. The autograph signing that had taken place Sunday, 19 January 2003 and was scheduled to begin at ten in the morning. We had arrived too early. After going into the café and consuming English muffins and the required caffeine, we plopped ourselves in the stump of a line outside the Holiday Inn where the signing is to take place.

  Now, Brad Dourif is just one of the dozens of B-movie celebrities who are present there to chitchat with autograph collectors, obsessive fans, and sell their autographs ten dollars a pop; twenty with a chosen photograph provided. My friend was a bit iffy about the prospect of this situation – are these celebrities reduced to these tiny conventions where they sell their time and signatures? However, I think this is an excellent form of commerce where both parties are happy. The reason: on the side of the obsessive fan – it’s a chance to meet a monumental figure in their life and tell their hero how much they love them as well as walking away with a photograph and an autograph; as for the celebrity – ten dollars per autograph is a pretty decent sum of money and on the plus side, they also get a healthy ego-stroking from the obsessive fan. Everyone is happy. Brad was late. We found the table at the end of the room where his little nametag was sitting on, and decided to look around and see who else was there. Elvira! The Incredible Hulk! Leatherface! Don Knotts! Stacy Keach! My eyes came across Laurie Holden and I nearly fell over. THIS WAS MARITA COVARRUBIAS THAT I HAD SET MY EYES UPON. Boy, she was gorgeous. However, I was too intimidated to approach her, and I wanted to save my pocket-change for Mr. Dourif.

  When I had noticed his arrival, my brain had floated out of the cracks in my skull. I was amazed that I could still stand from the trembling that had besieged me. THIS IS LUTHER LEE BOGGS, GRÍMA WORMTONGUE, BILLY BIBBIT, LON SUDER, AND FUCKING CHUCKY FOR CHRIST’S SAKE. Jesus. Ah, but you could only imagine the idiocy that ensued after the apology for being so nervous – the first words that had tumbled out of my mouth, mind. Mr. Dourif was nothing less of being the most gracious man on the planet. I pointed to the photograph of Luther Lee Boggs on the table and proceeded to gush most excitedly about how much I adored, FUCKING ADORED that episode and performance. Mr. Dourif had said that it was quite a hard role to play, to which my reply was further nattering of compliments. I asked about the meaning of the tear at Orthanc in The Two Towers and he said it was a 'Triumph of the Will' moment & asked whether or not I had seen it. Yay for Nazi propaganda films. I had brought a Gríma bookmark and my Return of the King book with me that I was fumbling whilst trying to hold it in my hands during the duration of the meeting and I completely forgot the existence of that stupid object. Of course I had to go back a second time and feel like quite the idiot doing so, apologizing about half a million times as I was shoving more paper money at the man.

  Ah, but he winked at me before I left!!! That makes everything better; that and the knowledge that I gave sixty dollars to my favourite actor on the planet directly. But seriously, I was pleased, so very pleased. Still am pleased. Pleased I am. I need a job.