Fan: Carrie (Ozmavul)
Date of meeting: August 28th - Sept. 1, 2003
Place: Atlanta, Ga.
Event: Dragon*Con 2003



Bus Trip Down from Bay City Michigan:
Firstly, Amish people really do smell, and I know this because there are Amish people all over where I live. Just down the road there is an Amish school to give you an idea. Anyway, There were Amish people on the bus & other anomalies, which include: Annoying white people that think that they are G-thugs, thusly talking as non-white as possible.
There was a guy sitting behind me that I thought was actually brown, but no, he was this fat, ugly white guy that looked like some kind of moo cow. Oh well, I am from the country so I shouldn't talk...*stab*
The human dependence on cell phones is really starting to be annoying... It's like, you cannot even travel 50 miles without talking to someone...The only thing I would use a cell phone for would be emergencies or if I am watching porn. And when you do talk on a cell phone, I think it would be WISE to not talk about dropping acid, having sex with a prostitute or constantly repeating, "I'm your Auntie!" over and over for about 10 minutes...especially when there are wee tots on board…OR ME FOR THAT MATTER! So death to little black things with buttons.
Ok, hmmm..what else was there about the trip... um..there was this creepy homeless dude in the Detroit Greyhound station that kept walking by me and he smelled like SHIT! Like... layers and layers of caked on sweaty cheese & poop. And he kept doing this creepy whispery thing but you couldn’t understand him. Creepy.
Off to the South.
Tennessee...beautiful.
Chattanooga Tennessee.... heaven.
I always thought that that state must be really boring because you never hear anything about it...but holy god, the scenery is just gorgeous...I don't think I would want to live there, but maybe have a wee hut to go to or visit often. If it's one thing I love, it's the mountains…and not the bald-naked gray mountains with spoogy snow on top.
IT'S THE MOUNTAINS COVERED WITH TREEES! Trees are so sexy....
I *heart* the Appellation mountains.
Georgia is really pretty too, but not as pretty as TN. PA is like TN with all the mounteeens... I heart Gettysburg…but that's a different story...*gets off topic*
I sat next to this wonderful brown southern old lady! She was so sweet and she let me lay my head on her *giggles*...and we talked about mints...and she was all worried that I was going to Atlanta because she said that she use to live there and there was a lot of crime...I heart her. He-he-he. But I told her I would be with about 20,000 nerds dressed as Klingons & storm troopers(I will not capitalize “storm troopers” because Star Trek is god over star wars. ;P ) & I would be with 5 other people so that made her feel a lot better.
But I am never riding a bus that far again, I mean, a few states is ok... but when your going from Michigan to Georgia, it’s a bit too much.. gah...

Arrival in Atlanta: Worst experience ever:

As soon as I stepped off the bus, it started to RAIN LIKE A MOTHER FUCKING MOTHER! You have no idea... it was like a flash flood in Atlanta or something to that extent. The water must have been around a half foot in some parts, and it had only been raining for around 5 minutes just to let you know how bad it was…so I was like,:
"This is great...I’m a mile & a half from the hotel and I have to walk through this."
The water was running all over in little wee streams and I am COMPLETLY FRICKIN SOAKED! You could see my bra through my shirt! narg! WET T SHIRT CONTEST!
So anyway, I step into a side street store to get out of the rain. My bags are all soaked too and I’m wearing my pink towel on my head. But that was soaked too so what's the use, *puts back in bag*.
To my luck there are a bunch of creepy homeless men & drug addicts also waiting. And here is this wee white girl from Amish country, Michigan. The one was really nice though, and I could trust him for some reason...I don't see auras, but there is this thing in my head where if I am in a desperate situation and there are a few people around, I will pick the one that I know is nice and not going to rape or kill me. He was really friendly but I couldn’t understand much of what he was saying, so I just nodded & smiled. Well, we were walking to the hotel because the rain died down,("THAT'S A FANCY PLACE YOU STAYIN AT GIRL!")-- but then it started up again and it was LIGHTING & THUNDERING really bad...& loud…oh it was so loud…loudness. So we turned around and he took me to the Marta transit and told me to stay on for 2 stops then get off on the 3rd one...then he was like "I got some weed yo! I'll sell you a dime for 8 bucks!"
“....”
That was creepy... I told him no thanks, but I gave him 8 bucks to leave me alone & for helping me.
I scared some wee lady on the transit because I sat down next to her and I was sopping wet and she was all dry. Heh, it was funnie.
SooOOoooo, I sat as far away from her as possible so that I wouldn't get my wetness on her, (she would have liked it ;P)

I got off there and walked about a block and a half to the hotel. I was so pissed off…it was like the Tori Amos concert experience ALL OVER AGAIN! gah! STAB STAB STAB! [that’s another story ;P]
So then I get there and I’m like...
"Dur...people everywhere…dry."
Then I see THE PRECIOUSSESS!! (aka-Katherine & German Princess). So I’m like "yeah, I’m wet, take me to the room so that I may bathe & be dry"
It was weird because I was so nervous to meet everyone...but then I had a hell of a time getting there, so when I did arrive I was like "HI! IM THE PRECIOUS! TAKE ME TO THE ROOM!" :B
It was cool because I have been talking to Katherine…I think since February? January? And she was exactly how I pictured her to be! She had big 'ole boobies and pretty long hair… *heart-heart-heart*

I don't know German Princess well enough, but it was cool to meet her too! I heart her accent & I petted her shiny silky hair.
So I went up with them to the room... OH MY FUCKING GOODNESS! The Hotel we stayed at was so frickin’ awesome! It was like, 47 stories (sp? *tard *) high and we were on the 26th floor...the elevators were like turbo lifts or something. They went up and down really fast and made your ears pop...I felt like vomiting, it was so grand! And it was all red & green! My fav colors...oh yes... AND THE VAGINA RIBBONS!! Oh, the Vagina Ribbons are wonderful.. I took pictures of them.
After that, I went back down and to the front to wait with Katherine & German Princess for Molly & Angel & Caitlyn. They didn't get there for about an hour or so, so we tarded around. Molly & Angel got there first. Angel has pretty tattoos & cool hair...don't beat me up. Molly was so wee & frail looking; I wanted to feed her soup. And her Hazel Motes tattoo is soo frickin sweet looking... Angel is grand at tattooing. I HUMP YOUR HANDSES! *creepy* anyway...
...ok so then we go back up to the hotel thinking that Caitlyn has been abducted since she is about 3 hours late... but then she calls and she's in the OTHER hotel(Hyatt). So we prance over there and get her. She was wearing her Orange Piterporn shirt. It was awesome. heh.
We go register...took about an hour and a half standing in line. I annoyed people.
From there we had our first encounter with the Drunken horny loud boy. Caitlyn and I and German Princess talked about porn and Piterporn and other creepy things. I forgot my id card so I almost HAD to go alllllllllllllll the way back to the room & lose my spot, but thank god that Katherine payed for my ticket because it had her address on it...so the guy believed that I was who I was and I did not have to wait 10 more hours. That would have sucked cock. We also met Katy! She brought me Earl Grey tea from England! I *heart* her! *humps* I wish I had a British accent. They are so hot... *tard*. Tally ho!
After that I don't remember much...We went to the HardRock Cafe and ate nummy food... I took a picture of Adam Clayton's shirt that he donated (bassist for U2 and my fav member) & I humped it. I then gave my left overs to a homeless man. Tee hee.
It was really busy on Thursday night because everyone was getting there ‘n stuff. We ordered a porn through the hotel and it was a "sci-fi" porn...oh my god it SUCKED SO BAD! We were MST3K-ing it in the first place…but then it just wasn’t even funnie anymore…I mean. Wow, it was so bad that I don't think I could be the one to describe it the best…let’s just say that I have vowed to never watch porn ever again. I have been ruined forever.
The Actual Dragon*Con:
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
 
This has got to be the most fun thing I have ever done in my entire life. woo. SO MANY PEOPLE! SO MANY PEOPLE DRESSED UP! SO MANY NERDS! There were such a variety of costumes, that I couldn't tell them all. There were people dressed up from Klingons to furries ...from Storm Trooper to Elvis Storm Trooper...From Frank(donnie darko) to Invader Zim & Hello Kitty.
If you dressed up as Santa Claus, I’m sure people would freak out as well.

I bought stuff. Lots of...stuff.
A Locutus Bust (when Picard was turned into a borg)
A Spock t-shirt
A Star Trek Captains t-shirt (minus Scott Backula, thank god)
A Star Trek Insignia pin
A "Star Fleet Academy" Sticker for the back of my car that looks like those stickers that name your college ;P *BIG STAR TREK NERD* I would not call myself a trekkie because I don’t know the names of all the episodes… I just reallyyyyy like it.
There was just so much going on that it would take me 5 hours to write out everything.
I remember seeing the funniest movie ever…the Toxic Avenger from the Troma people..OH MY FUCKING GOD! So funnie… oh so frickin funnie. Angel, Caitlyn and I also saw this really hot singer named Voltaire sing his funnie songs and he also had funnie star trek songs because I guess he’s a trekkie..but he was so effin hot, my god. Good thing angel got lots ‘o pictures! XD


Brad and some other dude gave an X-Files panel which we all attended except Molly & Angel. It was so funnie because all us creepy fangirls were all sitting in the front row awaiting the B-dawg of DOOM…and when he came in I about pissed myself. He was SOOOO jetlagged & he just looked like crap(I don’t mean he looked horrible, I mean that he just gave that sense that he really would rather be sleeping then answering creepy nerdy questions) because he was so effin tired…poor guy! He kept forgetting what he was saying.. it was so hilarious…
“’So then I….what was I saying?“

And the other dude that was giving a panel kept interrupting the B-dawg… and it’s like…”Ok, NO ONE is here to see you, we are all here for the B-dawg, CHUT UP!” (if anyone has seen Donnie Darko, they know that I did not mis-spell “shut up”)
(it was Patrick Kilpatrick~K-Dawg)

But, oh well. The B-dawg ate candy and seemed content on doing so.
Then after Brad and that other dude left the table and were making their way out… I stole his sleek, black, shiney plastic spoon that he didn’t even use….but, IT’S A BLACK SHINY PLASTIC SPOON!! I can make spoon porn with it!!! Muahahaha. I am so creepy…but I cannot resist a black shiny plastic spoon unwanted. Heh. I don’t know what I did with it now… I think it’s like, in a bag somewhere still. Hehehe.
Anyway, we followed him down to where the signings were, but there was an assload of people getting autographs, plus he was so frickin exhausted that we decided to wait until tomarrow so that he could be all refreshed and not tired. Tee hee.
Um…*thinks thinks thinks* I have the worst memory.
At one point in time, a priest ended up in our room, we molested him and stole all his alcohol…then he ended up in his underware, violently nuzzling mollys shoulder… then we kicked him out at knife point. (it is a very true story.)
That was great.
Dragon Con…after all the activities, stores close at 7pm…it just goes CRAZY! Everyone gets drunk and it’s just one huge effin party with thousands and thousands of NERDS!

The day that I met the B-dawg, I went all by myself. Everyone was either gone or sleeping….so I just showered, got my picture & camera and set off to the place where THE PRECIOUS would be. I didn’t even feel nervous at all! It was weird…I know if I was meeting him about 5 months ago I wouldn’t even go by myself…or I would have dry-humped his leg without mercy. (I am so glad I am not creepy anymore in that sense)

I just went right up to him, waited about a minute until the person in front of me left and asked for him to sign my picture that I got of Younger Brother from “Ragtime”. XD
He said sure and asked for my name, and if it was spelled with a “C” or a “K”…hehe that was cute, but everyone asks that. I said a “C” and showed him my DragonCon badge so he wouldn’t strain his poor wee brain. I then asked if I could get a picture with him and he was like “sure!” and came around the table…. I handed my camera to some random nerd and the B-dawg put his arm around me, so I put mine around him too. Oh, you must worship my mad phat pimpin skills. ;P It was just cool because he wasn’t stiff in the fact that you have some weird stranger wanting a picture with you…He’s so rad.[I can’t believe I just used the term “rad” to describe the b-dawg]. After that I was thinking, “ok, that’s it I guess….” And I turned to leave but he held out his hand for a handshake and we did and he said thank you and looked me in the eye!
OH GOD HIS EYES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL! XD It’s hard for me to look into guy’s eyes that are blue (I’m weird like that, brown, green, hazel is easy, but when it’s blue, its like they know everything your thinking and makes me paranoid, :B )…so you could only imagine how insane it was when the B-dawg has the most beautiful blue eyes ever. No one else has eyes like him or ever will. I know everyone says that about his eyes, but it’s true.
After that, I ran into Katy and she told me that Katherine was outside getting her smoke on, so I went out there and found her and we squealed like wee piggys!
I also met a few cool people, a fellow Piterporn addict, she(Sybelle)was wee and coot. I wanted to feed her soup as well.
Departure of Emo-ness:
I left that night at 9:20pm because my bus left at 9:45pm… nah… I chilled in the hotel room with German Princess, Molly & Caitlyn…that was pretty fun…we dressed Caitlyn up in random things from the room and she ended up with a rubber chicken in her crotch.
I then had to leave and everyone walked me out to the front of the hotel until my cab came to take me away. Parting is such sweet sorrow. Tears. I weep….woe. I said my goodbyes and gave everyone a dry hump hug and departed into the sun set that already sat…or something…
I will not bore you with the details of GETTING BACK TO MICHIGAN…but let me just say that it was horrible and I am never riding the bus again…unless it’s only a short distance.

THE END OF OZMAVULS ADVENTURES TO THE PEACHY STATE OF B-DAWGNESS AND NERDS!